It’s been an interesting couple of weeks for us lately. Both girls have had cases of pinkeye and tonsillitis to fight through, plus Ava has had a bad rash all over her torso that she’s still taking steroids for. We seem to be on the tail end of everything, but there’s still medicine to be taken. Then there’s Mr. Enzo, who has recently discovered how to flush the toilet. Obviously it’s so much more fun to flush the toilet with something in there and watch it disappear, so over the past two nights he has blocked up two of our three toilets; one with a toy train, and the other with his fox binky, which is a pacifier sewed to a little stuffed fox.
Last night I tried to fix the downstairs toilet by removing it from the floor and digging around for an obstruction, but not only was I unsuccessful, I also caused a minor flood in the bathroom. By the time I got all the water cleaned up I was so pissed that I decided I didn’t care what the cost was, I would be calling a plumber regardless. So I worked from home today, called a plumber first thing in the morning, and waited for the bad news.
Needless to say it cost us a pretty penny to get both toilets fixed. He tried using a snake to clear them, but that didn’t work, so removing them from the floor was the only option, meaning they needed to be re-sealed and seated. Whatever, it’s not a big deal, and I’m certainly not trying to make it about the money, it’s just annoying. I’ve found that with home ownership there are two types of expenses: those that add value to the house and can be considered an investment, and those that get (pardon the pun) flushed down the toilet. Obviously this one was the latter.
At least we have one positive takeaway from this ordeal: we’re using it as a catalyst for Enzo to be done with pacifiers. When he asks for his binky we say “Sorry buddy but you flushed it down the toilet. It’s gone now. But that’s okay because you’re a big boy now and big boys don’t need binky’s.” I’m sure it will be a bit of a rough transition, but it’s time. In the meantime we need to keep a close eye on him and make sure he’s staying out of the bathroom, until of course we’re ready for our next big transition – diapers.
In other news, we had a great time hosting Madi for a sleepover recently. She and Kristy met me and the girls at the ice skating rink to watch one of Ava’s lessons. Afterwards we all skated for about an hour. It was Madi’s first time, and Kristy’s first time since she was a kid. They both did awesome and had a lot of fun, so I hope we get to do it again. Elise actually got out on the ice that day as well, and although it’s not quite as natural for her as it is for Ava, I was still really proud of her for trying. She ended up doing two laps around the rink before retiring to the stands to run up and down the bleachers.
Later on we all had lunch, then relaxed for an afternoon movie. That night we went out for pizza, then watched another movie about young figure skaters. The next morning I made a big breakfast, then Kristy met up with us a the pool where we enjoyed water slides, floating in the lazy river, and playing in the water jungle. It was a great visit and we hope to have her again soon.
Jessica has been making good progress on her neck from going to physical therapy and seems to be getting a bit better each day. Hopefully it keeps up too considering our trip to Raleigh is only a week away. She hasn’t let it phase her much at all though and keeps just as busy as ever. She’s back in the gym, swimming, running, and keeping up with the kids all the time, which is probably the most exercise of all.
Monday will be our 7th wedding anniversary so the timing of our trip works out perfect in terms of celebrating. Considering that Jessica was hospitalized for an appendectomy on our 6th anniversary, it’s more than safe to say this year will be a lot more fun. I’m more than ready for a long weekend, good weather, fun with friends, and some good southern food!
The only bummer about our trip is that I’m going to miss the final week of my beginners hockey league. Not a big deal though because I’ve already signed up for the next session, starting later in April. I scored my first goal in our game on Sunday, which was a thrill. I got out on a fast break with the puck, and my first instinct was to pass to one of my teammates, but when I looked around, I saw that they were about two strides behind me, and so were the defenders. So then I totally had that ‘Oh shit’ moment where I realized that everyone is watching me, and I better not screw this up. Honestly I didn’t even care if I scored, I just wanted to put a shot on goal and make the goalie do something to stop it, rather than shoot wide of the goal or over the top. I took a couple more strides, pulled it back, and shot as hard as I could. It probably wasn’t very impressive looking from the stands, but it felt damn good to see it sneak by the goalie’s skates and into the back corner of the net.
It ended up being the only goal scored by our team, and I totally did that celebration move you see on TV where I glided on one knee and pumped my fist a few times. I won’t normally do stuff like that, as I generally prefer when athletes act like they’ve been there before, but the truth was I hadn’t been there before, so it felt worthy of a celebration. More importantly, I love getting out there and playing and I’m committed to getting better, so I’m glad to have found this new hobby. I’ve got one more game this Sunday, then I’ll be looking forward to getting started with the next session.
Ava is continuing to impress me with her ice skating. This past weekend they were working on two foot glides, then lifting a foot and doing a one foot glide. After her lesson I was working with her during the public skate on these things, and out of nowhere she says “Hey Dad, can you do this?” and she starts hopping on one foot! I’m like, “Actually I don’t think I can do that.” I tried, and almost bit it big time. Eventually I got it, but it took several tries. It was no big deal for Ava, and mind you, this isn’t something they taught her in class. She just started doing it on her own! I knew she could hop on two feet because we frequently jump over the lines while skating, but doing a one foot hop never even crossed my mind. No biggie for Ava though.
Obviously if she wants to get really good it’s going to take a lot of practice, but there’s no question that she has natural talent to work with. I think most people assume that because she’s a girl, she’s going to get into figure skating, and she certainly might, but right now she talks about playing hockey more than anything. Obviously a big part of that is due to my recent involvement in it, but she seems pretty excited to play and talks about it frequently. It doesn’t matter to us as long as she’s having fun. The other important thing is that we don’t push Elise into anything just because Ava is doing it. I just look forward to her finding something she enjoys just as much as Ava enjoys skating.
Guess that’s about it for now. I’m sure there will be plenty to talk about after we return from Raleigh. Bye for now.
I just wanted to write a quick post about how proud I am of Ava regarding her first ice skating lesson on Saturday, as well as the exciting weekend we have to look forward to in the next few days. Before I get into that, a quick update on Jessica and the neck issues she’s been having. It’s been 6 weeks now, and although she’s been trying a number of different treatments, including massage, yoga, and acupuncture, she’s still been in consistent pain. Yesterday she went to her first physical therapy appointment, which was prescribed by a doctor, and the results were the best thing she has experienced yet, so we really feel like we’re finally on the right track with all this. She’s got a variety of exercises to work on daily, and several more therapy appointments already scheduled, but her therapist knows exactly what and where the issue is and how to treat it. Hopefully we’ve found light at the end of the tunnel. Can’t wait for her to be back to her normal self; these past 6 weeks have been really hard on her.
Regarding Ava, last Saturday was her first skating lesson. She was supposed to be in the level 1 class (Snowplow Sam 1) but when she stepped out on the ice and skated for a few seconds, the teacher immediately moved her over to the level 2 class. I watched her throughout the class, and I don’t mean to brag, but she was easily one of the best skaters in that class as well! Some of it is natural talent, but I couldn’t help but take a little pride in how well she was doing because we’ve been skating a lot lately, and I’ve been teaching her some of the same things I’ve been learning in hockey. To her credit, she’s been picking it up very easily and getting better each time out.
She ended up having a blast in her class and wanted to stick around for the public skating session afterwards. I went out to skate with her, but she had already made a friend from her class, so she skated with that little girl for quite a while. Once her friend had to go she came over and skated with me for a bit longer. We had such a good time and she was already talking about wanting to get started with her next lesson. Not surprisingly, Elise is getting more and more interested in joining us, so hopefully it won’t be long before she does.
I actually organized a team ice skating lunch at work next Tuesday and a bunch of us are going. Although one of our girls will be in school at that time, there’s a chance that Jessica and the other 2 kiddos will join us. Should be a lot of fun, and a nice team building exercise for all of my co-workers, especially the new ones.
This weekend we’ve got a lot to look forward to. Friday night Jessica and I are going out with another couple for dinner and live music. Then on Saturday morning, Kristy and Madi will meet us at the ice skating rink at the end of Ava’s class. Madi will be staying the night with us that night, so we’re going to skate for a while, then head home for a movie. This weekend will be our first since finishing our diet, so we’re all going out for dinner that night with Madi.
Sunday morning we’re all going swimming, and this will actually be our third Sunday in a row doing so. Turns out there are 2 indoor water complexes within 20 minutes of our house, and both are very modern/family friendly. They’ve got pools, toddler play areas, lazy rivers, slides, and one even has an area for surfing. We know Madi loves to swim, so that should be a fun way to finish her overnight visit. Kristy will meet us there Sunday afternoon, then we’ll go our separate ways after. We’ll be home in plenty of time for me to get ready for Sunday afternoon hockey.
In the slightly longer-term, we’re only about 3 weeks away from our trip to Raleigh, so that’s going to be a lot of fun. I’ve already found a guitar store that I need to check out while we’re there, but other than that, I’m looking forward to going with the flow, and eating like a king. Laurel and Mark have already given us a recommendation for a nice barbecue restaurant to check out while we’re there, so I think we’re in good shape. Lots of cool stuff coming up for us, so I’m sure I’ll be writing again soon.
Apologies for not writing in the past month, but in all honesty there hasn’t been a whole lot going on in our world. Basically things have been pretty quiet for us since Enzo’s birthday, but I wasn’t about to go an entire calendar month without writing a post… that would be a first. The short story is that everyone is doing well and keeping busy with the same old stuff, but I’ll do my best to go into a little more detail.
Ava and Elise are both staying busy with pre-school. I love coming home from work on their school days and seeing what they’ve made, as they are both always very excited to show me. They’re continuing to attend swimming lessons on Monday nights and are (slowly) getting more comfortable in the water. Our plan is to keep them in swimming lessons until there is no hesitation from either of them in terms of getting in the pool. They certainly don’t need to go as far as getting onto a swim team, but it’s important to Jessica and me that they have no fear of the water.
A week from Saturday Ava begins her ice skating lessons, and she is very excited to get started. As expected, her enthusiasm is rubbing off on Elise, so now Elise is asking to come with us when we go skating. I’m planning on taking both girls this Saturday and I’m going to setup Elise with elbow pads, knee pads, helmet, thick gloves, a balance bar, etc. I know she’s scared of falling on the ice so hopefully the extra protection will help to alleviate those fears. Ava actually took a pretty decent spill during our last session the previous weekend, but she’s a tough cookie. Even though she was shook up and needed to call it a day, the very next day she was asking to get back out there. She has seen several young girls who are hockey players and she’s been asking if she can play on a team. She actually seems more interested at this point in hockey than figure skating, which I think is awesome. We’re all for it, but she has to get comfortable with skating first. Getting into these lessons next weekend will be the best first step, and hopefully Elise won’t be far behind.
Enzo seems to have entered the terrible two’s right on schedule. He’s still the sweetest little boy ever, but over the past few weeks we’ve noticed that he’s a little more irritable, and a little more likely to throw a tantrum when he doesn’t get what he wants. It’s certainly no big deal though, and as a parent I find it interesting to compare how each of the kids deals with these growing pains in their own way. As the old saying goes, “this ain’t our first rodeo.”
These days he loves building things with legos, driving trains, cars, and trucks around the house, and watching any animated show related to trains, ie Thomas, Chuggington, etc. Enzo also recently got his first haircut and did really well. I stressed to the woman cutting his hair that we did not want short hair, we just wanted to get it out of his eyes and layer it a bit. Her response to me was classic – “Honey, I’m from the 70’s, so that will be no problem. I gotcha covered.” She recommended me pulling up a cartoon on my phone to keep him occupied while she went to work, so I started an episode of Thomas The Train on YouTube and it worked like a charm.
Since we knew we were going to have some down time after Enzo’s birthday, Jessica and I decided to do our annual health month a bit early this year. Normally we wait for June, but the time felt right to start in February. One thing that’s different this year is we’re doing 6 weeks instead of a month. Having done this multiple times in the past, the transition this year has been easier than ever. Basically, at this point our bodies are used to this, so it’s been no big deal. Last night was the halfway point, so we decided to have one cheat meal. After hockey I picked up a pizza and breadsticks, then came home to watch the Oscars. As expected, dinner was delicious, but considering that this was the first complex carbohydrate I’ve consumed in 3 weeks, it did a bit of a number on my stomach. Nothing major, but noticeable, so it was nice to get back to “normal” today. I’m not expecting any more cheat meals until our 6 weeks are up, but at the same time have no regrets about last night. Gotta treat yourself every once in awhile, even if you’re not going to feel so great afterwards.
About the only negative thing in our world lately has been Jessica’s constant back/shoulder pain. It’s been going on for several weeks now and our best guess is that she has a pinched nerve. I hate seeing her in regular pain and was glad she went to see my sister yesterday for some treatment. Dana definitely made a difference, but this isn’t something that’s going to heal overnight. It’s going to take more treatment and some conscious decisions to pay close attention to her posture at all times. I think we’re on the right track now, but we need to stay on top of it and keep making regular progress.
Things have been really busy for me at work lately, but that’s nothing new. Considering my team’s recent rapid growth, I’ve found myself in a new leadership position and am really enjoying it. Nothing official in terms of title, but certainly there has been a change in stature. I’ve also been finding myself doing a lot of interviews lately for prospective new development candidates, and am enjoying that new role.
I’m still playing guitar as much as ever, and have fallen absolutely in love with ice hockey. Each week my skills are improving, especially in skating, but there’s still so much to work on. Every Sunday I get so excited to play, and when I’m out there I never want to come off the ice. In fact I intentionally play on the team with fewer players so there will be less substitutions. I’m still having to think a lot when I’m out there – thinking about my skating, thinking about where I’m supposed to be on the ice based on the position I’m playing and the current location of the puck, but I’m getting better. Like anything else, if you’re consciously thinking about what you’re doing, chances are you’re not doing all that well, but there’s improvement. I can’t wait to get to the point where I don’t have to think so much and can just get out there and let it happen. They just announced the next session, which starts two weeks after this one ends, so I’ll definitely be doing that. Jessica recently brought the kids to watch me play and Ava just loved it. She was yelling and cheering for me the whole time, which was awesome. Elise, on the other hand, was more interested in playing games on her tablet, and Enzo couldn’t be contained unless the zamboni was out on the ice, at which point his concentration could not be deterred.
I guess that’s about it for now. We’re really looking forward to our getaway for Laurel and Mark’s wedding reception this April in Raleigh, North Carolina. Obviously our diet will be done well before then, so I’m looking forward to eating my heart out and experiencing some more regional barbeque. Austin really introduced me to good barbeque last year, so I’m curious to see how North Carolina stacks up. Here are some recent pics of the kids.
Ava getting some quality time with her tablet
Elise loves the tire swing
Enzo breaking it down at his birthday party
The insatiable sweet tooth
Ezy rider (or is it Weezy rider?)
#EatWithEnzo
Ava loves playing in the snow
Elise trying out her new goggles in the pool
Be my Valentine?
Love this shot from when we started singing Happy Birthday to Enzo
Yesterday our sweet little boy turned two years old! Considering that his favorite thing to do is eat, it only seemed fitting that we would host a food-based party at home. Several weeks ago Jessica and I decided on doing a pizza party, and by all accounts, it was a huge success. We were joined by Grandma and Grandpa Martin, Auntie Dana, my Godfather Pete, Uncle Butch & Aunt Carol, and our friends the Palmers, the Schreibers, the O’Hair’s, and the Hancocks. It was a full house and everyone had a great time.
As we tend to do when hosting a party at home, Jessica took care of the decorations while I focused on the food. There were pizza-themed decorations everywhere, and even a little pizza oven made out of cardboard by Jessica and Enzo that all the kids loved playing with. I had been practicing making pizzas from scratch over the previous couple weeks and ended up making 14 pizzas throughout the evening. I was happy with how they turned out but the ultimate praise came from our guests. A couple people told me they were the best pizzas they’ve ever had, which was quite flattering to hear, but what I got the biggest kick out of was when a few other people said “Wow these pizzas are really good. Where did you buy the crust?” As you might imagine, I would do no such thing, and took great pride in telling them that everything, including the crust, was homemade.
There were 3 different pizzas on the menu: Enzo’s Special (pepperoni & black olive), Pellegrini Primo (Italian sausage & mushroom), and Margherita (tomatoes, basil, garlic, & rosemary sea salt). Jessica made a cute little menu and put it up on the fridge. As it turned out, we didn’t need to make 14 pizzas, so as the party was winding down, I asked several people what their favorite type of pizza was and ended up sending them home with an entire pizza of their own. Even after everyone was gone I still had 3 pizzas to make, so I did, and just threw everything in the fridge. Looks like we’ll be eating those leftovers for a few days to come.
Although the food was good, there was no question that the combination of people we had together was the highlight of the event. It was just a great ambiance with tons of good conversation and laughter. In the background we listened to the ‘Enzo birth’ playlist from 2 years ago, while the kids played in the front room and most of the adults gathered around the kitchen table to talk, drink wine, and be merry. I was working in the kitchen the whole time but was almost always joined by someone who came over to hang out with me. I got to spend a lot of quality time with my sister Dana, who proclaimed herself my pizza apprentice. It was just a great evening that we’ll never forget. Big thanks to everyone who came to celebrate Enzo with us!
In addition to Enzo’s special day we’ve all been doing really well. Grandma and Grandpa got here Wednesday to stay with us for a week. They’ve been doing fun stuff with the kids everyday like going to museums, looking at planes, going out for tacos, etc. Friday night Jessica and I got out for a little date night (our first in 4 months) and ended up going to an Everett Silvertips hockey game, followed by dinner at Azul. Although we lost, the game was still a lot of fun, and dinner was great, but honestly it wouldn’t have mattered what we did; Jessica and I always have fun when going out so it was nice to get some private time together.
Due to my new involvement in ice hockey, we’ve made several family trips to the ice arena lately to do some skating. Turns out Ava really enjoys ice skating, so we’ve taken her 5 times over the past two weeks. Not surprisingly, she’s been getting better each time we go, so on March 1st she and Mom will begin their seven-week ‘Learn To Skate’ class together. When Ava sees the little girls taking figure skating lessons she gets really excited, so we may look at something like that down the road. The other night we were watching figure skating on TV and Ava said to me “Daddy I want to skate on TV.” Oh boy. We’ll just take it one step at a time and see how things turn out. We also saw a girl’s hockey team as we were getting off the ice one day, so maybe there’s a chance we can get her interested in that.
Speaking of hockey, last Sunday was my first session, and although it was my first time playing on ice (rather than concrete), I had an absolute blast and I think it’s safe to say I’m hooked. I have my second session tonight and I can’t wait to get out there. The only issue for me last week was that although I had purchased a lot of gear beforehand, it turned out that I was literally the only person on the ice not wearing hockey pants (which are padded), or shoulder pads. I couldn’t believe it because this is a beginner’s course, but everyone else was totally geared up. As you might imagine, it can be intimidating coming up on a full grown man on ice when they’re fully padded, and you’re not. I fell on my butt pretty hard once, then even harder on my hip a few minutes later, and was sore for several days, but it’s okay. Enzo and I went to the hockey store the very next night and I purchased hockey pants, shoulder pads, and two jerseys, so tonight I’ll be good to go.
We play on the community ice at the Xfinity Arena in Everett, so right upstairs is where the Silvertips play. There was a game going on last Sunday (as there will be again today), so people hanging out in the bar for the game can look down into our rink and watch us play. This means that I (and several others) was doing ice skating drills for the first time in my life, with an audience. Not surprising that I fell a couple times. The format for the class is to spend the first half hour doing drills, then the second half hour playing a scrimmage. One thing I couldn’t believe was how tired and sweaty I got from our game. You play in shifts so you’re only out there for a few minutes at a time, but believe me when I say it’s very tiring.
After the game the camaraderie in the locker room is great. All the guys are super cool and we’re just back there laughing and telling stories about things that happened during the game. There’s one guy on the team who, not only had he never played a game of hockey before, he’d never even skated before, so props to him for getting out there. As I’ve mentioned before, getting into hockey is a bit of a commitment, so to go out and buy all the gear without having ever even stepped on the ice is pretty impressive. Hopefully it won’t be too long before Jessica and the kids can come out to see me play.
We tried exposing Elise and Enzo to ice skating but it doesn’t seem like they’re ready for it yet, which is totally fine. Elise got so far as stepping out onto the ice, but she wasn’t comfortable and was worried about falling, so she decided not to stay out there. We took her a second time but she just wasn’t having it, and we’re not going to push it. Enzo did his best but his legs were slipping around so much he reminded me of a baby Bambi. We’ll definitely try exposing him to it again in the future, but it’s going to take some time before he’s ready. Some rinks have a session called ‘Walk the Ice’ where people can go out there in shoes and just walk around, so that may be a good way to expose Elise and Enzo in the future.
Poor Elise has a big scab on her nose and upper lip from a rug burn she got when falling off the couch the other day. We tried to lighten the mood by telling her she looks a bit like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, but you can tell she feels bad about it. Poor thing, I hate seeing her like this, but I’m sure it will heal soon. It reminds me of a huge scab I had on my face from an accident on the slide in pre-school. Other than that she’s doing good though, and gets so excited to go to school every Tuesday and Thursday.
Ava is now going to school the same days as Elise, plus Fridays, which is good because it won’t be long before she starts Kindergarten in September. Every time we drive by Penny Creek Elementary she says “Daddy that’s going to be my new school!” I love her excitement but taking her there for the first time will probably put a big lump in my throat.
The next couple months will probably be pretty quiet for us, but we’ve got our trip to Raleigh, North Carolina to look forward to in April. Although we’re going for our friend’s wedding reception, it will be the same week as our anniversary, so that should be fun. Considering we spent our 6th anniversary in the hospital getting Jessica’s appendix removed, it’s probably safe to say that number 7 will be a bit more fun.
Thank you again to everyone who made Enzo’s second birthday such a memorable one. The people, the presents, the conversations, everything was just excellent and we appreciate it all so much. We’ve only got a few photos to share for now, but luckily my good friend Leon was there taking tons of pictures, so it won’t be long before we have those to share.
Happy 2nd birthday Enzo! I love you so much buddy!
After an excellent winter break, our family is back to normal and settling into a groove for the new year. Actually it’s a new normal, because we have several fun and exciting new things going on, but more on those in a few. First I want to take a minute to extend my sincerest gratitude to Grandpa Rick and Grandma Chris for everything they did to have us out for Christmas. This was easily one of the best Christmas holidays I’ve ever had, and of my 3 trips to Iowa, it’s probably fair to say that this was my favorite one. I certainly had a great time on the other 2 trips as well, but there was something special about this one that I’ll never forget. Looking back at everything Rick and Chris went out of their way to do in order to ensure we had a great trip, it just blows me away. I know they did it all out of love, and would be happy to do it all over again, but I just want them to know how much I personally appreciate it.
Although Jessica did a great job of describing our trip, there’s one part that I want to focus on a bit more: the food. One thing you know for sure is that when you’re staying at Rick and Chris’ house, you’re going to eat like a king, and this trip was certainly no exception. It’s nearly impossible for me to pick my favorite meal of the trip because we ate so well the entire time, but if I had to pick a top 3, it would be:
Beef tenderloin at the Rudd family Christmas dinner
Lobster, Crab, and Corn chowder on Christmas Eve
Deep Dish Midwest Pizza (we had several during the trip and they were all excellent)
Honorable mention goes to the grilled Iowa pork chops Rick made on our second night there, and the ham we had at the Rudd family Christmas dinner. I’m definitely going to have my work cut out for me when Rick comes out for a visit this Spring, but rest assured, I’m already planning a menu 🙂
When we got home on Thursday night, I still had a four day weekend ahead of me before returning to Microsoft on Tuesday. Unfortunately we didn’t notice it until Saturday morning, but our furnace wasn’t working, and surprisingly enough, it was colder here in Washington than where we were in Iowa. By the time we noticed that the heat wasn’t working correctly (the house wouldn’t warm up past about 64 degrees), everyone was closed for the holiday weekend. Not surprisingly, it was freezing that weekend and we actually got more snow. By the time Sunday came around the five of us were staying bundled up with winter coats and hats all day, even though we were inside our home!
I called Rick and he guided me through a bunch of troubleshooting steps to diagnose our furnace, but unfortunately we were unable to get it fixed. First thing Monday morning I got on the phone looking for someone to come out and have a look. The first couple places I called were closed for the holiday, but luckily I got through with a company called CM Heating, and they were able to get someone out that day. The guy that came over was extremely friendly, professional, and even nice enough to let me shadow him throughout the process so I could learn more about how to troubleshoot the furnace. Turns out we had a drainage issue; the condensation that builds up when the furnace is running has to get drained out of the system, but a blockage had built up in our drainage pipe, so the water was backing all the way up to the water sensor. This explained why the furnace would fire up, run for 20 seconds, then shut down. Basically as soon as some condensation would form and try to drain out, it would hit the blockage, trigger the sensor, and the whole system would shut down. Luckily the repair was very inexpensive and I learned a lot about how a home furnace system actually works. As a first-time homeowner, there are plenty of lessons like this to learn, but I find this stuff pretty interesting. I’m just glad it wasn’t something major that would require a whole new furnace.
As far as the family goes, we’re all doing really well. The girls were excited to get back to school last week and see all their friends. In addition to their normal Tuesday Thursday schedule, Ava is now attending school on Fridays as well. This will be a nice way to ramp her up for Kindergarten, which begins in September.
Starting tomorrow night, Elise and Ava will be going to swimming lessons every Monday. I’m really excited about this because I want the kids to be comfortable in the water from a young age. My initial impressions based on experiences we’ve already had at swimming pools is that Elise is a bit more comfortable in the water than Ava, but hopefully that will even out very soon. I loved taking swimming lessons as a kid, so I hope they do too. If they get really into it maybe we’ll consider getting them into some type of swim team, but only time will tell. Regardless, I just want them to have fun, and develop good solid swimming skills so they’ll never feel uncomfortable in the water.
Our little man Enzo is doing great as well. I can’t believe how advanced his vocabulary is becoming! When I see him around other kids his age it really stands out. While other kids are grunting and saying single words here and there, Enzo is dropping entire sentences. Granted, not everyone can understand everything he says, but Jessica and I can, and it’s impressive. Just the other night he noticed a new calendar on the fridge, pointed at it, and said “I don’t know what month it is.” Jessica and I were like, wow, did he really just say that? Plus, it was super perceptive of him to notice that the calendar has changed due to the new year. Impressive indeed. The other thing he’s been doing really well is throwing balls. He just has a natural throwing motion and throws things harder and faster than you would expect. He always seems to throw with his right hand, so it’s likely that he’s right-handed. Although I wouldn’t force anything on him, he may have some natural athletic talent, so it will be interesting to see how that plays out.
Jessica worked a very long shift on New Year’s Eve while I stayed home with the kids. I felt a little guilty for not being there with her, because I had an offer to work, but finding a babysitter that night is much easier said than done. As a testament to her constant hard work and professionalism, Jessica received an impressive (implied) job offer to become the private dining coordinator of El Gaucho Seattle. This would be the perfect job for her, and we definitely considered it, but unfortunately the timing isn’t right. If the kids were in school it would be totally different, but for her to be able to take it now would mean major changes for the kids. We’d have to hire a full-time nanny, and the kids lives would be turned upside down, so we decided not to pursue it. Hopefully another opportunity like this will come up when the time is right. Knowing her, and how good of a job she does, I’m quite confident that it will.
Today Jessica re-joined at 24 Hour Fitness. She was going a lot last year with her friend Solana, and all the kids loved going there to play together, but after Solana quit Jessica decided to take a break. Lately she’s been feeling like she needs some physical activity to balance out her creative hobby of painting rocks, so she’s back to the gym, and I’m very proud of her. Hopefully she will enjoy going to all the various classes and will have something new to look forward to on a regular basis.
Speaking of new physical activities, I too have been feeling lately like I need a physical hobby to balance out my creative hobby of playing guitar. I used to have that with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu when we lived in San Diego, but I was never able to find a school I liked in Washington, and subsequently gave it up. Well, after a bunch of encouragement from a friend at work, I’ve decided to join an adult beginner’s ice hockey league. I know it sounds a little crazy but I used to love playing street hockey as a kid and I think it will be a lot of fun. Fortunately I work for an awesome company that is so dedicated to employee health and fitness that they give us an annual fitness allowance to spend on stuff like this. Hockey is one of those sports that isn’t exactly easy to get into unless you grew up playing it, mainly because it requires a bunch of gear, and a membership in a league. If you don’t know for sure that you want to play, you’re probably not going to head out and buy all the gear, then pay to get into a league, but Microsoft basically alleviates those concerns for me, so I’m just excited to get out there. I went out this week and purchased all my gear, so now I can’t wait for my first session, which is 2 weeks from today. For now I’m just going for an hour on Sunday afternoons, then after this first session ends we’ll see where we’re at in terms of getting into an intermediate league.
On a side note, based on all the political stuff I wrote around the time of the election, I just want to say that since then I’ve had several very positive conversations with my Uncle Jim and my Father-in-law Rick, and based on those conversations I feel like I have a better understanding of the complete picture. I’m not saying my perspective has changed, because I still feel strongly about the environment and gun safety, but I now have a better understanding of where a lot of Trump’s supporters were coming from. Being back in Iowa and seeing all the factories, I can see how someone would feel if they were struggling to put food on the table because they had been laid off from the only job they had ever known, and the factory moved overseas. There’s no question that if I were in that situation, my priority would be on providing for my family before it would be on protecting the environment, so I get where they’re coming from. That said, I can’t help but take some pride in the fact that I’ve been able to put my family in a position where they will never have those types of worries, but I certainly understand and empathize with those who do.
One of the things I’ve struggled with, however, is separating the message from the messenger. The fact is that I don’t like or respect Donald Trump, so I tend to focus on his negative attributes, of which I feel there are many, rather than look for the positives in his statements. I’m also unhappy with his cabinet picks, and honestly I’m very concerned about our country’s future, but I would never direct any of that dissatisfaction towards his supporters, especially now. The outcome of the election has caused me to reflect on a moment I had with Rick on my first trip to Iowa, which was for Christmas, 2009. At that time, Obama had just been elected, and his election came up during our conversation one night. I remember Rick saying “He’s not my first choice to be our president, but regardless he will be our president, so I will support him.” I remember being really impressed with that type of level-headedness, and it has stuck with me ever since. Well, now is my chance to apply that same mindset because although I’m not a fan of the man, I am a fan of our country, and I only want the best for it.
For the near-term I’ve decided to take a break from politics and focus on things that are nearer and dearer to my heart: my family, my career, and my hobbies. Jessica and I have also incorporated some new environmentally-friendly practices into our everyday lives that we’re happy about, so that’s not going to change. What is going to change for me though, is the daily articles, podcasts, social media posts, etc. I’m just not feeling it right now, mainly because it does nothing but upset me, and I don’t like spending a disproportionate amount of time feeling upset. There’s simply too much good stuff going on in our lives right now to focus on anything else. 2017 expects to be an exciting year for us, and with all the fun new stuff we’ve got going on, I think it’s safe to say we’re off to a good start. Happy New Year!
Tomorrow is the last day of the year and I for one am not sorry to say goodbye to 2016. It’s been a crazy year end for us filled with another trip to the ER for Michael, and a hit and run on our Acura. Thankfully, our trip to Iowa was a huge success but I’ll get to that later.
I’ve worked more in the month of December than I have any other month this year, by far. One of my last shifts at El Gaucho Bellevue turned out to be a really expensive shift to pick up. I had a really nice evening at work and was very happy to be leaving the restaurant at a reasonable hour, I was even hoping that I’d be home in time to see Michael before he headed to bed. Unfortunately, when I got to the car I noticed that it had a huge blue scratch on the front driver side. My stomach sank, I instantly felt horrible. Although it wasn’t my fault, I knew that it would make Michael upset and I hated to come home and drop bad news in his lap after barely seeing him for the past 2 days. Sometimes people suck, what do you do? We’ve already gotten an estimate to repair the damage and plan to get it done ASAP but it still makes me mad just thinking about it. The money I made that night doesn’t even cover half of what it will cost to fix the damage.
A few days later Michael came down with a nasty stomach bug. He took a few days off work and rested as much as possible but about 3 days into it he just couldn’t take it anymore and took himself to the ER in the middle of the night to get checked out. Thankfully they were able to give him some meds to help with the nausea and after another few days of rest he was feeling better. We did end up having to cancel our dinner party which was a bummer but we’re planning to host something in January to make up for it. It put a little bit of a damper on Laurel’s visit but we made the most of it and spent most of her visit at home which allowed us to have some good ole quality time together. Laurel and I had originally planned to get away together for a night out and maybe a bit of Christmas shopping but it didn’t happen and actually the weekend at home was just what I needed. We baked cookies with the girls, did a little shopping with the kids, had a movie night, took her rock hunting, and just enjoyed being together. I am so excited that she and her husband, Mark, are planning to move back to Seattle in the spring, there are sure to be many more weekends together in the coming year.
The day before our trip to Iowa we were visited by Santa. Michael was home from work for the day so we took the opportunity to celebrate and open presents from both my mom and Michael’s mom, as well as all the gifts we bought for the kids. It was of course a huge hit. It really doesn’t matter what the gift is, the kids get excited just to open up presents. Big or small, they appreciate them all and loved every minute of it. This year, Elise asked Santa for a helicopter, Ava asked for a purple giraffe (her favorite animal) with brown spots and Enzo wanted a fire truck. Santa came through and with the help of Amazon, he was able to deliver on each request. The rest of the day was spent preparing for our 8 day trip to Iowa. Generally I would already have all of our things packed and ready to go but because of our recent visitor and the fact that I have been working a lot, I didn’t pack a single item until the day before we left. That night at bedtime we dressed the kids in the clothes that they would need to wear the next day and got to bed as early as possible in preparation of our 4:30 am departure.
Aside from nearly missing our connecting flight in Denver due to a delayed take off in Seattle, it was a pretty easy trip. We did have to run from gate B42 to Gate B87 in 5 minutes but we managed and the flight was a breeze. We were all hangry (angry and hungry) when we arrived but Grandpa greeted us with nuggets and chicken sandwiches from Chik-fil-a so it didn’t take us long to bounce back from a long day of travel.
The week we spent in Iowa was all I wanted and more. The first day in town I was able to sneak away for almost 5 hours while Michael and my Dad took the kids sledding. My girlfriend, Liz, was in town from Dallas visiting family and drove an hour and a half to Cedar Rapids just to see me. I haven’t seen her since she visited San Diego the summer after Ava was born so there was no shortage of things to catch up on. It was such a wonderful afternoon. We stopped by the mall for a little last minute shopping and then had a nice long lunch at the restaurant we both worked at back in 2001. It’s true what they say that a good friendship is one that doesn’t fade with time. We could have stayed at lunch all day and just talked and talked. I got a little choked up when it was finally time to say goodbye but I know that we’ll see each other again when the timing is right. Meanwhile the kids had a great time playing in the snow with Dad and Grandpa. Actually, Ava had a good time playing in the snow. Elise took a spill her first time sledding down the hill and decided to take a nap in the car while Ava took advantage of what would be the only time they were able to play in the snow during our week long stay. That night we drove around the west side of town looking at Christmas lights. Driving around in search of lights has become a tradition for us and one of my favorites. It is no exaggeration when I say that we saw two houses that were by far my favorite christmas light displays ever. Its too bad that by this point all of the kids were sound asleep. One was a house that was totally decked out in lights and it was programmed to sing along with one of the local radio stations. We happened to drive up to the display and tune in just as they were playing a portion of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. It’s by far my favorite holiday movie and one that my Dad and I used to watch together every year so it made seeing that house just at that moment all the more special. We were even greeted by the owner of the house who was outside handing out candy canes to all the cars driving up to see his house. This kind of thing only happens in Iowa, I swear. We chatted with him for a few minutes and he suggested we drive up around the corner to one of his neighbors houses to see another incredible display. We were not disappointed! The next house was covered in lights on all 4 sides including a tree in the front yard like I had never seen before. It was at least 30 feet tall and nearly every branch was wrapped in white lights. It honestly took your breath away at first sight. I have no idea how it was done but it was nothing short of spectacular.
The next day, Michael and I took the kids to an indoor play space and ran around for a few hours while Dad stayed home to prepare for the Rudd Christmas party that night. After playing games and running around for a few hours we headed over to my grandparents condo to see them for the first time. All of the kids loved seeing their condo, which is filled to the brim with breakables and all kinds of interesting things. The girls favorite part was sifting through my Grandma’s seashell collection and Enzo was instantly drawn to a wooden train that I remember playing with as a kid. It’s like a trip down memory lane walking into their condo for me. Looking around at all the artwork and knick knacks, each of which remind me of a certain time in my childhood. It was a nice visit and gave the kids a chance to get some one on one time with both my grandparents and Aunt Betsy. We weren’t able to stay long because we had a party that evening but it was nice to get some time in no matter how short.
That night was the annual Rudd Christmas party and of course it was a lot of fun. My Dad totally outdid himself making a delicious ham and beef tenderloin dinner and all the adults enjoyed a hilarious gift exchange. The weather turned nasty really quick that evening but thankfully it didn’t stop almost everyone from making it. It’s no surprise that we spent the entire evening crowded around the kitchen island laughing at each other and enjoying a few drinks. I am so thankful for the opportunity to see everyone, the kids had a blast climbing on Uncle Tracy and dragging any willing adult around the house. Michael and I had a great time listening to everyone tell stories about the year and generally poking fun at one another. After all the guests left we didn’t stop for the night. Michael, Dad, Chris and I stayed up until nearly 1:00 am sitting around the table talking. Words can not describe what nights like this mean to me. Quality time like that with my family is something that can’t be duplicated. Although my Dad and I talk on the phone weekly, nothing can replace a nice long conversation in person.
We were all pretty tired the next day so we laid low for the most part only getting out of the house to walk around the neighborhood for a bit. That night my Dad made us all my favorite Christmas Eve dinner, lobster corn chowder, and we were joined by Joel and Melanie who had recently returned from a 3 week trip to Malaysia. As is tradition in our family, the kids each get to open a present on Christmas Eve night. We bent to their pleas and allowed them to open more than one each but mostly because we wanted them to have a few things to occupy them for the evening so that the adults could get a little more time together without interruption. The meal did not disappoint, my Dad added crab for the first time and it was amazing. I remember having this on Christmas Eve years ago and it was better than I remembered. There was a lot to hear about regarding Joel and Melanie’s trip. None of us have ever been to that part of the world so it was fascinating to hear about their adventures. It was another late night spent around the kitchen table talking and one that I won’t soon forget. After they left we set out the remaining gifts from Santa, hung the stocking and headed off to bed in anticipation of an early morning.
Ava was the first one up on Christmas morning, which is no surprise since she is usually the first person to wake up. She came into our bedroom and said “Did Santa come last night? Can we open up presents?” By this time we were all up and headed upstairs to get grandma and grandpa up for the day. The kids started with the stockings and Elise was so cute, as she emptied out each item she yelled out with excitement “I got a candy! I got a car! I got socks!” It was adorable. The kids didn’t waste any time opening gifts, there was no waiting to see who got what, or taking turns. It was more like, “Which one says my name?” and then they would rip the paper off and move on to the next. There were a few times that we didn’t even know whose gift is was until it was opened. After all the boxes were unwrapped it looked like a bomb had gone off in the living room. We sat around and opened up each toy and piled a huge mound of cardboard into garbage bags. All of the adults were exhausted by this time and for the rest of the morning we just laid around and enjoyed the sound of the kids playing together. We were joined by all of Chris’s family that afternoon for an early dinner and another gift exchange. It was a great opportunity to get to know Chris’s family a bit better. Since I have lived so far away for all of my Dad and Chris’s relationship I have never really gotten the chance to spend time with her family. It was fun sitting around listening to their stories just like we had done with my own family. Once again my Dad totally outdid himself with all the food. He made what was probably the best turkey I have ever had. Wow was it good, so extremely juicy and slightly crispy on the outside, yum! After dinner I was definitely feeling like I was in a food coma and so was Michael because he fell asleep while sitting in the living room with everyone while they were doing their family gift exchange. Christmas was probably the only night we got to bed at a decent hour and skipped our nightly talk around the dinner table.
The next day we headed over to my grandparents condo for another Christmas party. My Aunt Betsy was thoughtful enough to coordinate a get together for us so that we could see all of my Mom’s family. We booked out the community room in the basement of their building and had everyone over for lunch. My grandma brought down her huge assortment of beads and Betsy and MaryJo set up a lunch buffet for us all. We sat around and talked and made beaded necklaces. The girls were both so incredibly proud of their creations and have worn them almost everyday since. I enjoyed sitting with my cousin Carissa and getting to know her a bit more while also making a necklace of my own, with a 3 picture locket on it. Although I don’t wear jewelry much this one is something that I will treasure. Not only did I thoroughly enjoy carefully selecting the perfect beads to make it, but I also had a great time sitting with Carissa while I beaded it. Michael enjoyed an afternoon of sitting with my uncles and grandpa, telling them mostly about the wonders that is Microsoft but also getting to know more about them as well. We get so little time with my family, and he has only been to Cedar Rapids 3 times now so every minute that we are there is special. By the end of the day we were pretty exhausted so we spent a nice relaxing night in at my Dad’s and ordered pizza. Michael and the kids went to bed early and my Dad and I stayed up late together watching a movie.
The next morning we packed up the van and headed out on a little road trip to Dubuque. My friend, Jodi and her family were also home for the holidays and since they were only 90 minutes away we wanted to take advantage of being so close to each other and spend the afternoon together. My went to her parents house for lunch and stayed to play for a few hours. She has two girls both close in age to Ava and Elise, last time we were in town they stayed the night at my Dads house and the kids really hit it off. This time was no different. Our kids made themselves at home as if they had visited there 100 times before and Jodi and I separated ourselves from the men a bit and were able to catch up on all sorts of things. I wish I had more time with Jodi, or that I had more friends like Jodi because it felt so great to be there with her. It was almost a bit therapeutic for me to spend time with her, she has such a calming, loving personality. I was completely bummed when I realized it was time to go. Time flew by while we were there and before I knew it, it was time to get back on the road.
The next day was our last day in town so we wanted to make it a full one. We got up and got ready and headed out to see my grandparents and Betsy one last time. It wasn’t a long visit but it was another opportunity for all of us to get in one more visit and for them to see the kids one more time. We hung out in their living room and played with the kids and Betsy totally had Enzo mesmerized with Nursery Rhymes. Humpty Dumpty to be exact. He has never heard the rhyme before and thought she was hysterical each time she repeated it to him. I was extremely grateful for this when on our last flight home he became horribly aggravated, I tried all sorts of things to calm him down and after about 10 minutes of no stop screaming I was able to keep him completely quiet by saying the Humpty Dumpty rhyme to him over and over. It worked like a charm. I was of course sad to say goodbye to them when it was time to go but we had plans to meet my Dad and Chris for lunch and then we were all headed to the Kids Museum in Iowa City for the afternoon. Leaving their house and not knowing when I will see any of the 3 of them again made me choke up. I did my best to see them as much as possible while we were in town but it doesn’t make things any easier. Seeing my Aunt and grandparents play with each of my children fills my heart with so much joy. The hardest part of living away from home is the time that you miss out on with your family. My kids will never know what it’s like to spend a sick day, home from school with one of their Aunts or grandparents. They’ll never get to go out on a random weekday movie date with their cousins, they won’t know what it’s like to have Christmas traditions with extended family every year. These are the things that fill my mind when I’m home visiting. These are the reasons Michael and I did our best to fill our 8 days in Iowa with family.
The rest of the afternoon was tons of fun, we had lunch at one of the coolest places in Cedar Rapids, The Black Sheep. Then we headed to Iowa City to the children’s museum. We all had a great time at the museum, it was definitely a good choice. Both kids and adults found an activity that caught their attention. I even noticed my Dad and Michael off together making and flying paper airplanes. The museum puts all of the kids attractions that we usually frequent to shame. We burned up nearly 3 hours of time in the blink of an eye. The highlight for all of us was easily the flight room. It was room filled with flight simulators, a giant slide, a fake, nearly full sized hot air balloon, several mini ride in planes, a network of air tubes that you could watch balls buzz around it and more. On our way out of the mall, grandma took the girls into Claire’s. They had been totally obsessed with jewelry since making their own beaded necklaces so she wanted to get them a few things to play with. It was the first time they have been taken into a store and told they could pick out whatever they wanted. I didn’t go in with them because I wanted it to be a special thing just with grandma. It was so adorable when they proudly showed us all of the treasure they had picked out for themselves. Its no surprise that since coming home these are the toys that they have clutched onto the most. What a special moment for them, no doubt. That night was a little bitter sweet, we were definitely all looking forward to being home, but we were not looking forward to leaving grandpa and grandma behind. I think Enzo has had the hardest time leaving grandpa behind. The two of them formed a bond on this trip unlike one I have yet seen with my kids. The has asked about grandpa almost hourly since leaving. Its both heartwarming and heart breaking at the same time. The joy that I get from seeing my baby boy and my Dad bond in unbelievable, the sadness that I feel knowing that we won’t be together again for several months is devastating.
2016 was not my favorite year by any means, but Christmas 2016 is one that I will never forget. I have only visited Iowa 4 times in 13 years. Two of those visits took place in 2016. This past week was everything that I wanted and more. My Dad and Chris worked their butts off in preparation for our stay. They opened up their home to mass chaos and did it happily. They hardly let us lift a finger for 8 days and when we did help they thanked us repeatedly. They hosted multiple gathering so that we would have quality time with all of our multiple family members. They provided us with an awesome “Pellegrini Suite” to stay in and made sure that we wanted for nothing. They didn’t bat an eye when one of the kids spilled or broke something and they never stopped being incredible hosts. All 5 of us had an awesome trip and we are so thankful that we were able to fill every minute of our trip with family. I love you both so very much, thank you for having us, we miss you already!
Playing at the park with Grandpa
Lunch at Biaggi’s with Liz
Daddy and Ava sledding at the YMCA
What a tree!
Staying warm with Enzo
Opening presents with Grandma
The girls posing in front of our beautiful tree
Who wants to race?
Lounging with Uncle Joel
Christmas morning
Our silly girls
Love you Dad
Elise getting ready to open her coloring book and crayons
Although the actual holiday is still a couple weeks away, and our trip to Iowa is exactly one week out, for all intents and purposes, Christmas for our family officially began on Sunday. We were visited by Uncle Jim, Aunt Brenda, Kristy, and Madi, for an afternoon of opening presents, eating lunch, and hanging out. The only unfortunate part of the day was the performance by the Seahawks at Green Bay, but considering the fact that my Sounders won their first MLS Cup the night before, I felt like I didn’t have too much to complain about.
As usual, they were much too generous in the gifts they brought us. The kids all love their toys, Jessica has worn her new shawl/scarf each day since receiving it and is looking forward to her Spa day after our trip to Iowa, and I’m very much looking forward to reading all my new books. I also received a really nice set of loose leaf teas that Jessica and I have been enjoying daily. Elise got a toy cleaning set that she absolutely loves; she can regularly be found ‘cleaning’ various areas of the house with her little squeegee, spray bottle, and brush. Enzo is constantly playing with his new trucks and tractors. Then there is Ava, who just enjoys playing with new toys, regardless of who they were actually given to.
After opening presents we all enjoyed cups of the new teas I got, then sat down for a big family lunch. I had previously made my ‘Meat Lover’s Chili’ (beef, pork, chicken, and turkey), so we had that along with Caesar Salad and warm sourdough bread, while the kids enjoyed grilled cheese sandwiches and fruit. It was pretty much the perfect family day and a very nice way to kick off Christmas!
To add to the Christmas theme of the weekend, a couple days earlier we got our first significant snow in 2 years. I woke up that morning to about 3 inches on the ground, so I decided to avoid the roads and work from home that day. In between calling into meetings and working on coding tasks, I would go outside with everyone for snowball fights, snow angels, and snowman building. It was a lot of fun for everyone, especially the kids of course, and provided a nice transition into the weekend.
Jessica has been working as much as possible this month, mainly because this is their busiest month of the year. Last Saturday night she worked the private Pokemon Christmas party. They always go big on their annual Christmas party at El Gaucho, but due to this year’s huge success with the Pokemon Go game, the party was more extravagant than ever. Working such a huge party has it’s benefits, but not getting home until 3:30 in the morning is less than ideal. I had been hoping things would slow down significantly for me at work this month, as it did last year, but it hasn’t exactly played out that way. We’re just as busy as ever, so I think Jess and I are both very much ready for our vacation next week.
Since Jessica didn’t have to work on Monday night, we decided to take the kids downtown for some holiday shopping in the city. First they all picked me up at work and got to see my new office. The kids were all super excited to meet ‘Taco’, my office fish. It’s not actually my fish but I’m fish-sitting for a co-worker for a few weeks. Of all the fun things we did that night, meeting Taco ended up being the highlight of the day for Ava and Elise.
After leaving work we headed downtown and bounced around a few different stores, all the while taking in the various holiday-related sights: Christmas trees, lights, and fake snow. Jessica and I each bought sweaters and hats, and we all enjoyed dinner at a Mexican restaurant. I had been hoping to find a good Winter hat and ended up striking gold at Eddie Bauer. I saw this epic red and black plaid hat with plush fur lining in their window display, then went about scouring the store to try one on. After several unsuccessful minutes of searching I asked a salesperson about it and she said the one in the window was the last one, but that I was welcome to try it on. It was too perfect to pass up, so I’m looking forward to taking it on our trip. I doubt I’ll be going outside in Iowa without it.
After that we took the kids down to the Public Market for a few photos. The girls were dying to sit on the bronze pig, so we were happy to oblige. It ended up being another epic holiday-inspired day, and doing it on a Monday evening was perfect because there were no crowds to deal with.
This weekend we’ve got some fun stuff to look forward to. Jessica’s best friend Laurel is coming out on Friday for a visit from North Carolina and will be staying with us for a few nights. Saturday night our friends the Martin’s (Julie, Bardi, and their 3 kids) will be joining us at our house for a dinner party. I’m looking forward to making lobster pasta, but haven’t decided on the rest of the menu quite yet.
Laurel leaves on Monday, then we’re going to do our own small family Christmas on Tuesday night, which will include Skyping with Grandma and Grandpa Martin as the kids open their presents. We’ll be up dark ‘n early the next morning at 4:00 so we can get on our flight to Iowa. We’re staying for a full week and are looking forward to seeing everyone. I’m sure I’ll have plenty to write about when we return. I think we get home on the 29th, so we have plenty of time before Jessica goes to work on New Year’s Eve. I won’t be returning to work until the first Monday of the new year.
We wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and look forward to seeing you soon if we haven’t already. Here’s a few recent family pics.
Enjoying the snow. 2 out of 3 looking at the camera isn’t bad…
Getting ready for our family day on Sunday
Surrounded with presents
They love their Paw Patrol art set
Poor Madi has a hairline fracture in her heel. Didn’t stop her from having fun though. That boot looks familiar…
We have a bit of a tradition giving cutlery for Christmas. Hope Kristy enjoys.
Jim and Brenda enjoying some gifts of their own
Loving my new winter hat. Too bad you can’t see the plaid pattern. It really drives it home. #Griswold
It’s been a very busy holiday weekend for us, including lots of family time and Thanksgiving, but nothing could outshine our sweet baby girl’s 5th birthday. It’s a bit hard to believe that Jessica and I have been parents for a half decade now, but when I look at Ava and see how grown up she already is, it all kinda makes sense. Although her birthday was on Friday, I wanted to wait until the end of the weekend to write because I knew we’d be busy, and of course, we were.
Things started up for us on Thanksgiving. We all headed down to Kristy and Madi’s house that morning and basically just spent the day hanging out, cooking, watching football, and eating of course. We were joined by Uncle Jim, Aunt Brenda, and Kristy’s friend Edgar. Madi did a great job keeping the kids busy, and at this point I think it’s fair to say she will someday soon be a great babysitter. She really keeps them inline, and most importantly, they listen to her. She had some fun games setup for the kids, including a dinosaur egg hunt in the backyard. Breaking open their eggs and finding the baby dinosaurs inside ended up being a highlight for both of our girls.
Jessica, Kristy, and I spent most of our day in the kitchen together, and it was perfect. Thanksgiving is probably my favorite day because it’s all about the 3 F’s: Family, Food, and Football. As I’ve said before, I tend to associate memories with food, and this day will be no exception. Dinner turned out great, even though Ava and Elise couldn’t stop talking about what they would, and would not, be eating. To their surprise, Madi made sure they tried a little bit of everything on their plate, and not surprisingly, they liked most of it. I certainly didn’t need a second helping of dinner, but forced myself to eat it anyway, and was basically comatosed afterwards.
The only bummer that day was poor Enzo, who was having an adverse reaction to the liquid amoxicillin he was taking for an infection in his tonsils. The medicine was giving him bad diarrhea, so he was a bit out of sorts all day. He was such a little trooper though; I was proud of him for hanging in there and making the best of it.
We all stayed the night at Kristy’s, but of course we had a bit of difficulty in the middle of the night. The 5 of us were in Kristy’s room, while she and Madi were in Madi’s room. At about 4:30am, Enzo woke up asking for a bottle of milk. Jessica went downstairs and made it, then he got in bed with us to drink it, and (hopefully) fall back asleep. About 5 minutes after finishing his bottle, the poor little guy started throwing up all over Kristy’s bed! So now Jessica and I have to hop out of bed, start stripping Enzo down, and removing all the sheets and covers from the bed. Soon I found myself at 5:00am trying to separate a comforter from a duvet cover (at least I think that’s what it’s called), and not surprisingly I found myself struggling a bit.
We all eventually got back to sleep for a couple more hours, then woke up around 8:00. At first Ava didn’t realize what day it was, but when we said it was her birthday she lit up with excitement. The night before, Madi, Kristy, and Jessica decorated the downstairs for Ava’s birthday, so when she went down there to see everything she was absolutely thrilled.
Jim and Brenda came over that morning, and soon thereafter we all enjoyed a “Grandpa Elmer breakfast”, which is simply chocolate cake for breakfast. I had brought a little stringed instrument called a Merlin with me, so that morning I figured out how to play “Happy Birthday” on it, and did so while the rest of us sang to her before having cake. After cake we spent time opening presents and playing around the house for a couple hours.
That afternoon the 5 of us drove our car, and Kristy & Madi drove their car, down to the Seattle waterfront. We had a nice lunch at the Fisherman Restaurant, then afterwards we all went on the big Ferris wheel, which is right outside the restaurant. It was my first time on the wheel, and although I’m a bit scared of heights, I still had fun. Of course the kids loved it, and that was most important.
After the wheel we had to split up. Kristy took Madi to Pike’s Place Market for the first time, while the rest of us went home to prepare for Grandma and Grandpa, who were flying in that evening. A couple hours we got home, Tom and Amy arrived, so we spent the rest of the evening catching up and preparing for Ava’s party the next day.
Saturday we had Ava’s party at Chuck E. Cheese in Bellevue and it was great. In addition to Grandma and Grandpa, we were joined by Auntie Dana, our next-door neighbors the Schreiber’s, Solana and Ronin, and our friends the Palmer’s. The kids spent a couple hours playing games and collecting tickets, then we all sat down for a snack, followed by photo time with Chuck E., cake, singing, and presents. One of the highlights for Ava was getting to go inside the ticket booth, which is a glass booth filled with game tickets. For 30 seconds she got to stand in there while lots of air was blowing tickets all around her. The objective is to grab as many tickets as possible, so that you can trade them in later for a prize.
Before I move on, I want to say thank you to everyone we saw over the weekend for all the birthday gifts, and for making time for us. It was a very special couple of days for Ava and I’m sure she won’t forget it. Looking back on my own childhood, I definitely remember my 5th birthday party, so I wanted this to be special for Ava, and it certainly was.
Sunday was a pretty busy day for Tom and I. My Acura and Jessica’s van both needed some work, so we worked together all day on them. The van work was pretty minor, but in the case of my Acura, the check engine light was on and when I connected the reader, I found out it was my knock sensor. In most cars the knock sensor is easily accessible, but of course in my car it’s down inside the engine block, meaning we had to disassemble the top of the engine (intake manifold, throttle body, fuel rails, and injectors) just to get to it.
I had gone out the night before and purchased a new sensor, plus some other tools we thought would be necessary, but once we got to it, what we found was surprising. As it turned out, the sensor was fine, but the wire connecting to it was basically gone. A little more investigating revealed the reason – a damn rat got inside my engine and chewed through the wire. It was obvious because there was rat poop inside there and the remains of a nasty little nest.
While purchasing the new sensor the previous night, I had also tried to purchase a new wire, and I went to 2 auto parts stores, but neither of them even carried it. They told me my only options were to special order it from the dealer, or find one at a junkyard. Neither of those options seemed viable due to time restrictions, so I crossed my fingers hoping it wouldn’t be necessary.
I have to give major credit to Tom because once we saw what the issue was I figured we were just out of luck and I was going to have to take my car into the dealer for the repair. However I was wrong. Tom came up with an idea to remove the wire fitting from the sensor, then cut out the other connecter that it plugged into, rewire it on our own, and solder the whole thing together. We went back to the auto parts store to return the sensor I had purchased, then went to the hardware store to purchase a soldering iron and a spool of wire. We ended up getting everything soldered together, secured with heat shrink, and protected with a sheath. The whole thing worked perfectly and I was thoroughly impressed.
Afterwards we put the top of the engine back together, reconnected everything, and it was good to go. The check engine light was off and the car ran perfectly. This was by far the most in-depth repair job I’ve ever done, and obviously there’s no way I could have done it without Tom, but it was a great learning experience.
As usual, the long weekend went by in a flash, and tomorrow it’s back to normal for me. This should be an interesting week at work, as we’ll be moving to a new building. I’ve been at the same desk in the same building for nearly 2 years, which is crazy considering in my 2.25 years at Amazon I had 5 different desks. I’m ready for the move though and even more ready for December, which is a slow time of year for us. October and November of this year were the two busiest months I’ve ever had at Microsoft, so we’re all ready to dial it down a notch.
Before I go I just want to say how proud I am of Ava. Of course I’m extremely proud of all three of them, but this one is about Ava. You’re growing up so fast I can hardly believe it. You’re smart, funny, talented, beautiful, and most importantly, filled with love. You’re also our little trailblazer, and I know you’re going to have a few tricks up your sleeve for us in the future, so I hope we’re ready. I can’t believe you’re so close to Kindergarten! Thank you for being such a good big sister to Elise and Enzo, and thank you for always being my sweet baby girl. As you would say, I love you around the sun, and around the volcano. Happy 5th birthday sweetheart – I hope you never forget it.
Getting ready to grab those tickets!
A little Thanksgiving fun
Elise enjoying some bread at Ava’s birthday lunch
Okay so maybe I was a little nervous on the wheel…
Well, I’ve had a couple days to digest the outcome of the election, and while I strongly disagree with the results, I realize that I have no choice but to accept it, or at least live with it. For the first time in my life I understand what it feels like to seriously disapprove of my president and totally disagree with the direction the country appears to be heading in. It’s a tough pill to swallow, and honestly the loss hurt me even more than I would have expected. I’ve never been the type of person to sit around and complain, so Jessica and I have to find a way to move forward. I intend to use this as a learning experience.
There’s no question that this election has changed me as a person, and I’m thankful for that. I have no regrets regarding anything I said in my post on Tuesday, and I’m actually really glad I wrote it when I did, which was before any of the results started coming in. Had I waited until now, a very different post would have been written, so I’m glad I was able to express my true, uncluttered feelings before everything started going south.
It’s really difficult for me to understand the mindset of the Trump voter. The fact that he lost the popular vote and yet still won the election makes it even harder. I’m certainly not complaining about a rigged system, and I understand the electoral college, but it still stings. I have to accept the fact that, like most people in this world, I am a product of my environment. Having spent the vast majority of my life in this liberal, progressive corner pocket of America known as the Pacific Northwest, I can’t help but identify with the predominant mindset that occupies it. Obviously not everyone up here feels the way I do, but most of the people Jessica and I associate ourselves with do feel this way, so we’ve all had a tough time.
Tuesday night was an emotional one for us, and I suppose being so active on social media only made it worse. Consequently neither one of us has so much as thought of logging into Facebook since the results were final. I know that all the rhetoric on there would do nothing but upset me even more, and I simply don’t want to end up saying something that I’ll later regret. I’d rather use this blog as my platform, because at least here I can express my thoughts in long form, which is how I am most comfortable.
Throughout this election I’ve tried to understand and relate to those who have gravitated so strongly towards Trump. I’ve read articles, listened to Republican officials, and done my best to put myself in their shoes. While I understand what they’re saying, I can’t truly grasp it. I simply don’t come from that world, and don’t hold those concerns. That said, I certainly respect the fact that the vast majority of people out there, regardless of party affiliation, only want what is best for this country; it’s just that we all have different ideas of what that means and how to get there. There are certainly some very bad people who support Trump, but they are quite limited in numbers. Unfortunately their voice is louder than their numbers are strong.
I have a lot of worries moving forward. Every issue I outlined on Tuesday is going to take a step backward, but nothing worries me more than the well being of our environment. To use Seattle as an example, this October was our wettest on record. We normally get 10 inches of rain between October and November combined. This year we got 10 inches of rain in October alone. Then tonight I heard on the local news that the first 10 days of November were our hottest on record. Must be a Chinese hoax. We need to start making positive changes now, but I just don’t see us coming anywhere near our potential under this new leadership.
Another major concern for me is the lack of checks and balances in our government. A Republican House, Senate, President, and soon to be Supreme Court is a bad thing, and you’d better believe I’d say the exact same thing if it was all Democratic. We need checks and balances. We need diversity. We no longer have that and it scares me. This is how dictatorships begin, and I’d like to think that we’re better than that as a nation, but I also thought we were above electing such a foul and disgusting man as our president. Obviously I was wrong.
A couple things I’ve learned recently about our country are: the political center is dead, yet racism and sexism are alive and well. I empathize with the parents of this country who wonder aloud what they’re supposed to tell their children. One might think that our kids are too young to understand, but such thoughts would be selling them short. When Jessica told the girls yesterday morning that Hillary had lost, Ava’s immediate reaction was “How could that bad man who says nasty things win Mommy? What am I going to tell my friends?” She then broke down into tears. Of course this caused Jessica to also break down into tears, so then Elise tried to reassure everyone by telling them, “Don’t worry, Daddy will protect us.” As you can imagine, hearing that news nearly caused me to break down as well.
In case you’re wondering how Ava, a 4 year old, could possibly have an opinion on Donald Trump, the answer is simple: she came downstairs one night and found Jessica and I watching the final presidential debate. She showed a surprising interest and asked us if she could watch along with us. After a short discussion we decided to allow it. So there she sat for the next half hour or so watching the debate, asking questions, and doing her best to understand what was going on. We were so impressed by this that we decided to explain to her, in terms that she could easily comprehend, where we stood and why. Anyone who knows Ava knows that she is like a little elephant; she never forgets anything. Since then there has been one additional Hillary supporter in our house. Regardless of where you stand, you have to respect her.
As a person who has always considered themselves very optimistic, I realize that the tone of my two posts this week has been an exception from the norm, so I’d like to end things on a positive note. I’ve said the things I’ve said, and formed the opinions previously expressed, for one reason: because I care. I look back at the first election I was old enough to vote in, and I didn’t even take the time to vote. I was too apathetic to find a polling station and check a box, let alone put in the effort to formulate an opinion. In that sense I have come a long way. I’m constantly amazed at how becoming a parent has changed me as a person, and this election has been an extension of that growth. While I will attempt to limit my emotional engagement in future elections, I now have a very clear understanding of where I stand, and ultimately who I am. I must admit I was impressed when Trump spoke of unity and togetherness during his acceptance speech; I only wish he had spread more of that message along the campaign trail. Obviously doing so would have hurt him with some of his more extreme followers, so he did what he had to do in order to win. I understand that, and am willing to look past it, but I still hold hope that we can begin to mend this great political divide and come together for a greater good. Our children depend on it.
On this historic day as we prepare to elect our first female President of the United States, I wanted to express to you the importance of making choices. For quite a while now, your Mom and I have been talking to you about choices: when you do something wrong we tell you “that was a bad choice”, and we you do something good, we praise you for making a good choice. It’s very important to us that you understand, from a young age, that life is about making choices, and that’s never going to change. As you get older, you’re going to be able to look at your situation in life and trace it back to a series of choices you’ve made.
Choices matter, and they come in many forms. You’re going to have to make choices about who you associate yourself with, what you do for a living, politics, religion, drugs and alcohol, hobbies, your appearance, etc. Some choices are more important than others, but I promise you they will never stop presenting themselves. Sometimes the choices you make will make other people angry, which is why it is vitally important that you always stand up for yourself and stand by your convictions. It’s also very important that you not judge or look down on others for the choices they make. Throughout your life you’re going to come into contact with people of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, and backgrounds, and their beliefs and choices will be just as diverse. Assuming those beliefs don’t condone violence or hatred towards others, it is extremely important that you always show respect. You won’t always agree, and you certainly don’t have to, but everyone deserves your respect until they prove otherwise.
It’s important that you take pride in your choices; that you embrace them and feel a sense of responsibility for them. When things go well for you, don’t be afraid to give yourself credit for making a good choice, and please don’t ever attribute anything to luck. As I like to say, there is no such thing as luck; luck is for losers. Anywhere you find yourself seemingly lucky regarding anything of importance, I’d be willing to argue that what you think of as luck was really just the manifestation of hard work. And just for clarification, there is a big difference to me between the concept of being fortunate, and the concept of being lucky. I am an extremely fortunate person, but I’m not lucky at all, because luck isn’t real. For example, I look back on the career change I made about 6 years ago and feel very proud of that choice. It wasn’t easy, and there were times throughout that process where I wasn’t sure I could do it, but I knew this was the only way to better my situation and give my family the proper care they deserved, so I stuck with it. That was a good choice. On the flip side, I have made plenty of bad choices in my lifetime and had to live with those consequences.
So today we find ourselves as Americans faced with some very important choices, particularly in terms of who we elect for our next president. This has been an extremely tumultuous election cycle for our country, certainly the most of my lifetime to date. The two main candidates, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, are very polarizing figures, and people on both sides are up in arms about the other candidate. There is a lot of hatred and animosity being strewn about right now, and it’s dividing our country more than I can believe. Your mother and I have put in a lot of time and effort to research the issues that matter most to us, and align ourselves with a candidate who supports those issues. It’s important to me to keep it about the issues because it’s too easy to feed off of the low hanging fruit constantly being served up to us by the mainstream media. The juicy stuff is all about personal attacks, scandals, trustworthiness, lies, and previous transgressions, but we feel those aren’t the topics that should influence our decision. It takes a little more work to climb further up that tree to find the issues that matter most to you, and we were willing to do that.
I want to explain to you why we’re voting for Hillary Clinton, why we could never support a man like Donald Trump, and most of all, which issues matter most to us. Having lost my dad at the age of 14, I was never able to have this type of conversation with him, so to this day I have no idea which issues mattered most to him. I know he voted democratic, but I don’t know specifically why, so I would give anything to be able to look back at something like this to get a true account of his political sensibilities. This will never be an issue for you because even if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, you will always be able to look back on these posts and understand who we are as people, and what matters most to us. This is extremely important to me.
I don’t like focusing on negative stuff, but I need you to understand why I could never support Donald Trump for president. I’ll get that part out of the way first. Donald Trump is a business man with no political experience who promises to shake things up and turn Washington upside down his first day in office. He thinks he knows more than everyone about everything, and he plays to people’s fears. He says he knows more about ISIS (the world’s most formidable terrorist organization) than our military generals. He has no respect for women and has been caught on tape many times saying awful and degrading things about women, then has the nerve to say he never actually said them. He is xenophobic, meaning he has an intense dislike and fear of people from other cultures. He is a religious bigot and believes in separating people based on their religious ideology. He is a ‘rabel rouser’, meaning he speaks with the intention of inflaming the emotions of a crowd of people for his own political gain. He wants to build a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. He refers to climate change as a “Chinese hoax.” Some of his biggest supporters include:
The Ku Klux Klan
The Alt Right
North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un
Russian President Vladimir Putin
He claims his business experience makes him a strong presidential candidate, yet his corporations have filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy four times. During the 1970’s, while working with his father managing a number of residential apartment buildings in New York, charges were brought against him multiple times for racial discrimination. If you weren’t white, he didn’t want you living in his buildings. His business school, Trump University, has taken advantage of many students, and he now faces considerable legal challenges in the near future because of it. He refuses to release his taxes to the public because he is under audit, even though the IRS has said publicly on many occasions that he is completely free to do so. So you understand, this is the first time a presidential candidate from a major party has hidden his taxes from the public. Most of us realize that he is obviously trying to hide something from the American people, most likely his deep ties and debts to Russia. He hasn’t paid federal income taxes in approximately 20 years. To sum it up, he’s a bad guy. Even many of his supporters acknowledge that, but because he has played to their fears, they are still willing to vote for him. Obviously your mother and I are not.
Then there is Hillary Clinton, the democratic candidate. Let me start by saying she is not perfect. In fact, earlier on in this election cycle your mom and I supported another man named Bernie Sanders who was running against her for the democratic nomination. It was during this time that we started researching issues and and figuring out what matters most to us, but more on that in a bit. Some people distrust Mrs. Clinton because of an email scandal she had while serving as Secretary of State. She did something foolish and setup a private email server in the basement of her house, then used a personal email account for work purposes. When people caught onto this, she panicked and had all of her emails deleted because some of the content in some of these emails later on may have been deemed classified. This was a poor choice and it caused many Americans to distrust her. Unfortunately the whole thing has been blown out of proportion. I say this because she has been investigated by the FBI multiple times now, and each time has been cleared of any illegal activity. In my opinion, if the FBI doesn’t believe she broke any laws, then the American public has no grounds to hold her activities against her. Yes she made a mistake, and has publicly admitted so on multiple occasions, but the Trump campaign is keeping it in the spotlight, mostly because there aren’t many other negative things for them to focus on.
Then there are her accomplishments. She has fought for children and families for 40 years. Rather than take a job at a prestigious law firm after graduating from law school, she took a job at the Children’s Defense Fund, working with teenagers incarcerated in adult prisons in South Carolina and families with disabled children in Massachusetts. She helped to provide millions of children, as well as first responders to the 9/11 terrorist attack, with health care. She stood in front of a United Nations conference and told the world “women’s rights are human rights”, which at the time was a surprisingly controversial statement to make, particularly on a stage of that magnitude. She continues to stand up for LGBT rights in America, and abroad. She has expanded health care and family leave for military families. She negotiated a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas. She preaches a message of unity and togetherness. And finally, she supports the political issues that matter most to us.
So what are those issues that I keep referring to? Well, let me begin by saying that my convictions today aren’t what they were in years passed. Honestly, I didn’t have many convictions in the past because I never took the time to research them with any depth. I will admit that as recently as a couple years ago I was starting to see myself becoming more conservative. I was growing older with a family to support, and in all honesty, I finally started making real money. Growing up, I had everything I could have ever wanted in life, but as I came to find out as I got older, we didn’t actually have any money. Like many American families, we simply got by. I knew my parents voted democratic, but again I didn’t know why. So when I started experiencing all these changes that I just mentioned, I felt it was somehow my responsibility to become a Republican, as silly as that may sound. If that’s what the wealthy people do, and I’m putting myself on course to someday become wealthy, then I assumed that’s where I belonged. Why should I pay a higher percentage in taxes now than I used to when I was just getting by?
This remained my mindset for the better part of a year, but then something happened. The current presidential election cycle (which ends today) got started, and I started paying more attention than ever before. Early on I had no idea who I wanted to support, so I decided to give every candidate a fair chance. One day I’d be researching John Kasich, then the next day it would be Carly Fiorina. I found myself taking online polls to better understand not only which candidates appealed to me, but more importantly, which issues were nearest and dearest to my heart. Once I discovered the campaign of Bernie Sanders I felt like I had tapped into something that mattered to me. Some of the main issues he preached, which I will cover in a second, made a lot of sense to me and I quickly declared him as ‘my candidate.’ In the end, this wasn’t Bernie’s time, and Hillary ended up winning the Democratic presidential nomination. At first I didn’t know how I felt about this, so I started researching Hillary a lot more, and I was pleased to find that she also supported basically all of the same issues that the Sanders campaign brought my attention to. Certainly there were some differences, but in the end I felt that of all our presidential choices (including those not coming from major parties), Hillary was most inline with the issues that mattered most to me.
I’ll start with climate change. There is deep divide in this country on many issues, and climate change is no exception. For the past decade or so we’ve been seeing drastic changes to our planet, including irregular weather patterns, melting polar ice caps, rising sea levels, thinning of the atmosphere, and an overall rise in global temperatures. As someone who has never formally accepted religion into their life, to a certain degree our planet is my religion. I say this because I care deeply about our future generations. The nameless and faceless matter to me, and I want to ensure that they have a healthy planet to live on. Luckily 97% of climate scientists agree that climate change is real, and that the burning of fossil fuels is the main cause. Basically the mass industrialization that we have created over the past couple hundred years is having very adverse effects on our planet, and if we keep up at the pace we’re going, we will drive ourselves into extinction. Most of the Republican party argues against this and says there is nothing wrong, but of course they have their incentives. Mega corporations and political stakeholders have funded them into taking this position because they are more concerned about their bank accounts than about our planet. Donald Trump refers to climate change as a “Chinese hoax” and supports initiatives and practices that will cause great damage to our environment. Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, takes an opposite approach and supports stricter legislation and regulation that will reduce our national carbon footprint, reduce pollution, and invest in clean renewable sources of energy.
However it doesn’t end there for me with climate change. Your mom and I are also committed to doing everything we can to have a positive impact and reduce our own carbon footprints. We stay away from certain products at the grocery store, we don’t waste energy, we compost, we recycle, I take the bus to work as much as possible, and we plan to retrofit our next home with Elon Musk’s solar roof. There are certainly more things we can do, and we plan to continue to better ourselves in this respect. The issue is simply too important to us.
Next, I want common sense reform to our nation’s gun laws. Unfortunately it’s very difficult to have this conversation with people on the other side because all they hear is “You want to take my guns away? Hell no!” This is certainly not true. As I’ve said before, I have absolutely no problem with anyone owning a handgun, a hunting rifle, or a shotgun. Whether you want it for sport, or your own protection, I’m not against you in any way, assuming you purchased the gun legally, you went through a background check, and you’re trained to use it. I think California got it right by instituting a mandatory 30 day cooling off period when someone goes to buy a gun, and I would like to see that made into a national law. I want to end loophole laws allowing people to purchase guns without a background check when buying them at tradeshows, or from private sellers. Finally, I don’t think any civilian should be allowed to own a machine gun, assault rifle, high magazine clip, or any other military grade weapon. To quote Ronald Reagan, who was a Republican president for most of the 1980’s and is generally considered the patriarch of the modern conservative movement, “I do not believe in taking away the right of the citizen for sporting, for hunting and so forth, or for home defense. But I do believe that an AK-47, a machine gun, is not a sporting weapon or needed for defense of a home.”
Whenever you get into the conversation of gun control, people like to start throwing the Second Amendment of the U.S. constitution at you, which gives citizens the right to bear arms. I respect the Second Amendment, but love to point out that it wasn’t written for individuals, it was written for militias, at a time when every able-bodied man in this country (of any age) was required to enlist for service in a militia. Should you fail to do so, you would be imprisoned. Additionally, you were required to supply yourself with your own guns and ammunition. Also, the types of weapons that were available at that time were quite primitive compared to today. Does that sound like the world we live in today? I didn’t think so. Considering how much our world has changed since these laws were written, wouldn’t it make sense to revise them so they have more applicability to modern society?
Next you have women’s rights, including the right to have an abortion. Losing my dad at a relatively young age meant that through my most formative teenage years, I was under the care of a single mother. This experience forever shaped my respect for women, and it has never dithered. Now, as the father of two incredible little girls, my feelings towards equality for women are stronger than ever. It disgusts me that a woman doing the same job as me most likely gets paid 15-20% less that I do. For the life of me I cannot understand this, and honestly it angers me that in this presidential election, you have a woman who is likely the most qualified candidate of all time, fighting tooth and nail for the job against a man with literally no experience. I wouldn’t hire someone for a job as an assistant manager at a Cinnabon without any experience, yet I’m supposed to consider electing a man with no experience to the highest office in the world? It just doesn’t compute with me.
Regarding abortion, your mom and I are completely pro-choice. We have an implicit trust in the women of this country to make the right decisions about their body and their reproductive life. We don’t feel the government has any right to dictate to any woman what she can and cannot do with their own body. The other side will paint disgusting pictures related to this topic that play on your fear and your emotions, but they are not realistic, and ultimately I cannot condone any form of leadership that dictates such personal matters and decisions.
Now we’ve got minimum wage. The fact is that currently in many states throughout our country, you can work a full-time job (40 hours per week) at minimum wage, and still be in poverty. I feel there is something fundamentally wrong with this. I don’t care what type of job you’re doing either. If you’re working full-time then you’re contributing to the system, and you shouldn’t have to live in poverty. Consequently I support raising the minimum wage to a livable wage on a national level, and I’m most certainly willing to put my money where my mouth is in the form of increased taxes. As the old saying goes, a rising tide lifts all ships.
Another very important topic to me is education. Obviously I want all three of you to go to college someday and obtain a higher education like your mom and I did, but I don’t want you to graduate with an enormous debt that takes you decades to pay off. Something is inherently wrong with our upper level education system, but luckily there are already major universities like Stanford and Harvard that are instituting programs to make college more affordable for everyone. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think all education should be free, because I think you would value it much less if it were, but the cost structure needs to change. Plus, not everyone needs to go to a fancy school to get their education, and I’m a prime example of that. My bachelor’s degree came from Colorado Technical University Online. Ever heard of it? I didn’t think so, but that doesn’t matter, because it’s all about what you make of it and what you put into it. The simple fact is that if you want to further your education, and you’re willing to put in all the hard work, there should always be affordable options. Unfortunately I’ll be paying off my education for many more years to come.
Next up for me is LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) rights. Although I don’t personally associate myself with any of these groups, I feel it is awful that people who do can legally be treated differently in certain situations, than those who do not. The fact is that our world is continuing to change in many ways, and I want to be part of a society that celebrates people for their diversity, rather than shame or exclude them. I see this change as a form of progress. I want people to be able to marry whoever they choose, and identify themselves in a way that best suits them.
Another big one for me is reform to our drug laws. It’s hard to believe, but our country is full of prisons that are private, for-profit institutions. In other words, the more people they lock up, the more money they make. And what is the most common crime people are locked up for? Well, it’s drugs of course. For my entire lifetime, the country has fought the ‘War on Drugs’ and it’s a losing battle. We need to take the stigma away from drug addiction and accept the fact that it is a disease, but unlike many other diseases, this disease can be cured. We need to learn from the numerous countries around the world that have already dealt with this problem in a better way than ourselves. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying drugs are all good, or that they should all be legal – I fundamentally believe that most drugs are bad and certainly if any of you ever find yourself using drugs and I get wind of it, you can rest assured your mom and I will be getting involved right away. That said, the way we criminalize such activities makes no sense. There is also a racial component to our drug laws that is completely unfair to anyone without white skin. The whole thing disgusts me and I will always support candidates who promise to work towards reforming these draconian laws.
The final one is health care. Unfortunately the United States is the only major country in the world that does not guarantee health care to all of it’s citizens. This isn’t something that negatively affects our family because I am fortunate enough to have excellent private insurance through Microsoft, but it is a major problem for millions of Americans. In fact, it used to be a problem for us too. Neither your mom or I had health insurance for the first few years of our marriage because we didn’t have jobs that provided it, and we couldn’t afford the cost of private insurance. In the end, nothing bad ever happened to us, but it certainly could have. We actually had to get on an insurance plan provided by the state of California when we found out we were pregnant with Ava. I realize that the current situation with the Affordable Healthcare Act (aka ‘Obamacare’) has it’s flaws, but I will always be in support of candidates who work towards guaranteeing health care to every American, regardless of their age or financial status.
I’m sure I could dig up a few more issues if I had to, but I think you can see where I’m coming from. Let me be the first one to tell you that because I’m writing this letter in a publicly accessible place, there will certainly be people who read this and wholeheartedly disagree with me, but I can’t worry about that. It may even go further than that; I may receive nasty comments like your mother did recently when she did nothing more than post of photo of herself on Facebook wearing a Hillary Clinton t-shirt. She didn’t even say anything, and yet two family members (one from my side and one from hers) made negative comments towards her.
Obviously if anyone ever has something negative or hurtful to say to my wife (or any of you), rest assured that they will also be hearing from me, as they did. In the case of my cousin, the conversation that transpired turned out to be a very positive one that I felt was healthy in the end. We were quick to tell each other that we loved one another and there will be absolutely no issue moving forward. In the other case, we both expressed our frustration with the comment that was made, and made it clear (in a polite way) that we were offended. Your mom even went so far as to ask for an apology, which she still has not received and probably never will.
It’s unfortunate that things can turn out this way, and I’ve always been under the impression that family comes before politics and religion, but not everyone sees it that way. In the end, I want each of you to realize that it’s not really important what everyone thinks of you. In my younger years I was much too concerned with what everyone thought of me. I wanted to please everyone, but you know got the worst out of that? It was me of course. Because I was wasting too much energy worrying about what others thought of me, I ended up not putting enough energy into figuring out my own thoughts. Plus, in the end people can sense when you’re trying to play both sides of the fence and will ultimately lose respect for you. I’m not saying that today I don’t care about what anyone thinks of me, but I am saying that the opinions I truly care about come from a very select group of people, and they all know who they are. Obviously this includes the three of you.
Let me also be the first one to admit that for each point I just made, there is an intelligent counterpoint to be made against it. I have no problem with that, in fact I embrace it. As I’ve said many times, I will always be a proponent of diversity in thought, even when it most assuredly eventually comes from each one of you. It’s never going to be ‘my way or the highway’ with me, and I promise to always do my best to see things from your perspective. All I ask is that you do the same with me. Above all, I would encourage you to always respect and embrace the differences of opinion you will eventually encounter with those around you. Unless you plan on becoming a politician (which any of you certainly could do if you wanted), I would recommend not worrying about trying to change people’s minds or opinions, particularly on polarizing topics like the ones I just mentioned. Focus on yourself. Focus on being the best you that you can be. Focus on tolerance and respect for others. Focus on love and unity rather than separation. Focus on making positive change rather than ineffective complaints. Focus on the people and things that you love and respect the most.
I’m not preaching to you just to hear myself talk. Someday you can expect to hear all this stuff from me in person, but I feel that this is too important of a time in our lives for me to put this off for another time. Again, I never got to have these talks with my dad because he was gone before I would have been old enough to appreciate it or truly understand. It’s natural as a parent to want better for your children than what you had, and what I want most for each of you is to always feel that you have a deep understanding of who your mom and I truly are. Again, I could die tomorrow, but the lessons and stories that I want you to hear will always be there for each of you to fall back on. That’s why I take the time to write to you, and why I throw caution to the wind when I think about the fact that anyone can get such deep insight to my thoughts and feelings, knowing that they may potentially try to use them against me someday. Although I may not be lucky, there is no one in this world who is more fortunate than me. After all, here is the privilege I get to wake up to each morning.
