Happy Birthday My Love

If it were up to Jessica, no attention would be paid to her birthday this year. Not because she’s freaking out about getting a year older, but because this quarantined Groundhog’s Day we’re living in prohibits any day from feeling especially, well, special. Fortunately however, it’s not up to her! It’s her birthday dammit, and a big one at that, although I’m not dumb enough to start talking about my wife’s age in public. Obviously we’re both well beyond getting super excited simply because it’s our birthday, but at the same time the family blog has become something we love looking back on as a reminder of where we were and what was happening at certain points in our lives. While I doubt we will ever forget this particular time in the world, I still want to take a moment to chronicle and pay respect.

In another week or so, we will have been ‘sheltering in place’ (meaning staying home) for two months. Although the official order from the governor didn’t come in for another couple weeks, we started staying home once I was ordered to work from home, which was at the beginning of March. It’s been a strange couple of months, and certainly there are many things that we miss from our normal lives, but overall things are going well. First and foremost, we all have our health, and that’s not something to be taken for granted these days.

A few days ago Enzo came down with a 102 degree fever (technically it was 101.9). Obviously Jessica and I were very worried because a fever is the most common first sign of Covid-19. He also threw up a couple times, so we immediately got him on a schedule taking children’s Tylenol, and pumping him up with fluids. Luckily the Tylenol broke the fever quickly and within 24 hours he was about 90% back to normal. Since then he has returned completely to normal, so there’s no more reason for concern, and no one else in our house has shown any signs of sickness. Other than that we’ve all been completely normal and healthy throughout this pandemic.

I think it’s safe to say this whole quarantine thing has been far easier on me than it has on the rest of my family. I’m still working full-time, which keeps me grounded in my routine, and I was already working from home 2 days a week, so switching to 5 days a week was no big deal. I just miss taking my kids to the ice rink and jiu-jitsu, plus I miss going to the gym, but I’ve found plenty of other ways to stay busy. Music has been my sanctuary throughout this experience – I’ve never spent so much time practicing and recording.

For Jessica, not being able to work any more has been difficult on multiple levels. There was a sense of guilt for not being able to contribute in that way, and not working means she misses out on a good portion of her social life. It’s a way for her to get away and interact with adults other than myself. Certainly she has found ways to stay busy at home, mostly due to the role she has taken on with homeschooling the kids, but it’s obviously not the same.

What was originally supposed to be a 2 month closure for El Gaucho has now become about 5. They were already supposed to be moving to a new location this Summer, so recently they made the decision to not reopen the Belltown location at all, and wait until the grand opening of the new location, which will be closer to the market, in September. This means it could easily be 5 months off for Jessica. She’s not happy about it but there’s nothing we can do.

Based on all this, she has fully invested herself into homeschooling the kids, and is doing an incredible job. She really deserves so much respect and credit for this. I’ve heard and read plenty of stories about parents who are more qualified to homeschool their kids, but simply don’t have the motivation to do so, and consequently the kids spend all day playing video games. In our case there is no question that the education our kids are getting today is better than what they were getting at school. It’s more focused and personalized, with far fewer distractions. It’s such an improvement that Ava is requesting not to go back to school and remain homeschooled for the foreseeable future. We haven’t made a final decision on this yet but we’re seriously considering it.

As far as the kids go, their resilience constantly impresses me. Their entire worlds have been flipped upside down, yet you wouldn’t know it when speaking with them. Other than the neighborhood kids, they haven’t seen any of their friends in 2 months, they’re getting less exercise, and doing none of their activities. You’d think this would be a recipe for disaster but they’re actually doing quite well. In terms of exercise, I’ve been doing some home jiu-jitsu classes, but not on a regular enough schedule, so that’s changing. We had a 90 minute class at home on Sunday and the girls loved it, so I promised them we’d start doing classes like this at least twice a week.

Just like our normal jiu-jitsu school, we worked on techniques for a while, then at the end I let them spar, and the sparring got pretty epic. Although Elise is younger and smaller than Ava, she has a natural ferocity and toughness that lends itself to martial arts. She would repeatedly take Ava down to the mat, get on her back, and submit her with a rear naked choke. At one point Ava was calling out for help and Elise screamed “There’s no one here to help you!!”

Jessica and I were both right there the whole time and obviously we would never let either of them get hurt, but the competition is good for them on multiple levels. I was recently talking with the owner of our school and he said he’s hoping to reopen in the next couple weeks, so hopefully that works out because we’re all looking forward to getting back in there on a regular basis.

I’d say easily the biggest highlight for the kids during this quarantine has been Easter. Normally we would go up to the Palmer’s house for a big outdoor egg hunt, followed by a delicious dinner, but that wasn’t an option this year. Instead we had a fun indoor egg hunt, way too much candy, and spent pretty much the entire day playing outside. A bunch of neighborhood kids came out to play catch, ride skateboards, and soak up the sun. The kids all said it was the best quarantine day by far, and it made us feel good to give them a day like this, even if it was a break from the norm.

Regarding the ongoing saga of our Disney World trip, we were originally supposed to go in early April for our 10th anniversary, but we ended up postponing it to the third week of May. Unfortunately it had to be postponed again, but we’re committed to making this happen. It’s something we’re all looking forward to, and by the time it actually does happen I think we’ll appreciate it even more.

At this point we’ll be going to Disney World the final week of August, and each time we call them to reschedule, they sweeten the deal even more. When we rescheduled the first time we ended up getting an extra day (hotel and meal plan) added for free. Then when we rescheduled again they refunded the entire cost of the meal plan! This was a considerable expense, but it was their way of showing appreciation for the customers who stuck with them throughout this whole ordeal. We weren’t expecting it, but it was a nice surprise. It’s a bummer to have to wait even longer for this trip, but it’s going to be freakin’ magical once it finally does happen!

While I would have been happy to make a delicious meal for Jessica tonight, she decided what she really wanted was sushi. I think she took pity on me because I’m on call for work this week, so we’re getting takeout from our favorite place. It feels good to help support local restaurants, especially since this is something we’ve done very little of over the past 2 months. 

The bummer trifecta of being stuck home for our anniversary and Jessica’s birthday will soon be complete when Mother’s Day rolls around, but there’s nothing we can do besides remain positive and enjoy the time together. While none of us know what the new normal will be, I think it’s safe to say we all have a newfound appreciation for the smaller things. We look forward to seeing friends and family, getting back to our activities, and being able to leave our house just because we feel like it. Jessica will surely never forget this birthday, but I hope she doesn’t look at it in a negative light. She has jumped at the opportunity to once again show what an awesome mom and wife she is, and we love her so much! Happy Birthday my love.

Ten Years Strong

Ten years ago today was easily one of the best days of our lives, as that was the day Jessica and I were married. In fact, the only individual days that would even compare to that would be the birth of our three children. Although I’m certainly not surprised that we’ve made it this far, it still feels like a great achievement and something to be proud of. We’ve accomplished so much together and have three new lives to show for it.

Our ceremony took place on a boat, which immediately made it a pretty unique wedding. We started off in Lake Union, then crossed through into Lake Washington where we cruised around for a couple hours. It’s a bit of a blur to me but mostly what I think about was all the friends and family who were there with us. Obviously that’s what weddings are all about and I’m still thankful that we got to celebrate with so many people we care about. 

Later that evening our reception was held at the Pampas Room at El Gaucho. I was still working at El Gaucho at that time and already had so much history there, so it was a fitting location for us. Strangely, this is now the last year of the Pampas Room, as El Gaucho will be moving to a new location in Seattle this Summer. I know I’ve said it many times before, but I love the fact that even though my time has ended there, Jessica continues to carry the torch at El Gaucho, meaning we are still very much a part of the family.

A month after getting married we moved to San Diego and our adventure really kicked into high gear. I’ll never forget getting the news 9 years ago today, on our first anniversary, that Jessica was pregnant with our first child, which was obviously Ava. We lived in this tiny alleyway house in Pacific Beach. It was far from special but was located only 9 blocks from the ocean and ended up being the perfect place for us to start our family. It was getting this news that caused the wheels to start turning for me, and a few months later I was officially on the path of becoming a web developer. There’s been so many other great things that have happened to us since then, and I love being able to look back through this blog as a reminder of how lucky we are.

As far as where we are today, I feel like I must address the elephant in everyone’s room. Covid-19, which is the disease caused by Coronavirus, has created a global pandemic that will most certainly define this new decade in which it was born. Technically it was discovered in Wuhan, China on New Year’s Eve, but it wasn’t until we had crossed into 2020 that it’s effects started being felt around the world.

I’ve had a unique perspective into all of this because I have a friend named Simon in Central China that I email regularly with at work. He has been telling me about his experience since January, so in some ways I was prepared for what was coming, but truthfully there’s no way to fully prepare for when the hysteria hits. First it was China, then it was Italy, then strangely enough it was right here in Snohomish County, Washington that we started seeing U.S. citizens getting infected. It continued spreading at a rapid pace and soon enough Seattle had become the U.S. epicenter for the pandemic, as well as a ghost town. 

Based on all of this, March 2020 was without question the craziest month of my life. The only other time I can think of that even comes close to all of this would be 9/11 and its aftermath. The difference to me, however, between then and now, was that 911 was a unifying experience. We all came together as a country to fight a common, and very visible enemy. Today it’s different because the killer is invisible and anyone can be a carrier. Rather than come together, we have to practice ‘social distancing’ by keeping at least 6 feet away from anyone not from your own household.

While the rest of the country soon followed, we Washingtonians were the first Americans to experience ‘the new normal’. It started in early March when Microsoft directed us to all start working from home until at least March 25 (a date which continues to get extended). Soon after that our school district closed until at least April 24. This wasn’t a surprise to us, or a big deal, because we had already notified the school that we would be homeschooling our kids full-time until things had cleared up. After that El Gaucho (and many other local restaurants) temporarily closed. In their case it was at least a two month closure, and while most employees qualified for unemployment during this closure, Jessica did not due to not enough hours worked so far this year. Soon enough all restaurants were forced to either close, or serve take-out only, in an effort to keep people distanced. At the same time hockey was abruptly cancelled for Ava and Enzo, meaning our end-of-year tournament in Canada would be no more.

We were hopeful that these measures would be enough for people to get the point and stay home unless absolutely necessary, but too many people are dumb and choose their freedom, or just want to go to the beach on a rare sunny day, so the governer had no choice but to take more extreme measures by instituting a state-wide shelter in place order. This meant only ‘essential’ businesses were allowed to operate, and technically you could be charged with a misdemeanor for being out and about with no purpose. While the police have made it clear that they do not want to enforce this on anyone, they will if they have to. The speed at which this new dystopian reality has set in almost makes your head spin. As I write this, numbers of infections continue to rise domestically (and globally) by the tens of thousands, and people are dying. We have two close friends who tested positive for Covid-19, but thank goodness they both recovered. From what I understand it’s brutal – intense fever and coughing, hallucinations from the fever. “The room was changing colors” was how one friend described it. The crazy thing is, they’re the lucky ones because they at least lived through it. Draconian times indeed.

While this is certainly an unprecedented level of madness that we’re all experiencing, I’ve decided that what works best for me is to stay optimistic and keep a positive outlook. My Mom has been telling me my entire life, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”, so that’s what I’m trying to do. Not being able to go to the gym, Jiu Jitsu, or play hockey definitely sucks, but we’re doing our best to stay active at home via daily exercise routines, neighborhood walks, and beautiful hikes in the woods. Jessica getting temporarily laid off from work also sucks, and does have a financial impact on our family, but the reality is that our expenses have never been lower because there’s nothing to do. Losing a significant amount of our retirement savings in the stock market is difficult to swallow, but I take solace in the fact that I’m a long-term investor who won’t be cashing out for at least 20 more years. Historically every market recession has eventually bounced back stronger than before, so I’m not changing a thing. If this really is the big one and the ship sinks permanently, then I guess we’re all going down together, but there’s obviously nothing I can do about that. I choose to focus on what’s actually in my control, and most importantly, not panic.

We were supposed to be leaving for Disney World tomorrow, but unfortunately that had to be postponed. For now we have rebooked our trip to May 18 – I just hope we’re able to go then. One thing that worked out to our advantage is that it’s so much cheaper to go then than now (because it’s supposed to be Spring Break now), that we got an entire extra day added to our trip (hotel plus meals) for free. This means we will now have a rest day in the middle of the trip. Instead of doing 4 parks in 4 days, we will do 2 park days, have a rest day, then do 2 more park days before coming home. The kids had a hard time hearing that the trip was postponed, but we promised them it would still happen.

In the spirit of staying positive, there have been some nice changes to our daily routine that I’m really enjoying. First of all, we’re getting so much more time together as a family. Certainly there are times when we all need a break, but overall it’s great to be getting so much more family quality time. Since we’re eating all meals at home, I’ve been cooking a ton, and enjoying eating so many meals together as a family. We bought an InstaPot a few weeks ago and have already gotten our money’s worth out of it – I love that thing. I also haven’t had to set an alarm in weeks. I sleep as late as I want every morning, which is usually no later than 7:30, then just head downstairs to get started with work.

It’s been important to me that I not get lazy and allow myself to atrophy, either mentally or physically, just because my favorite activities are all cancelled, so I’ve created a daily workout routine at home that I enjoy very much. Jessica has been doing yoga at home and going for a run in the neighborhood as well. In the spirit of continual learning, Jessica has been taking a free course with Yale University and watching TED talks, while I’ve been taking daily courses on LinkedIn Learning. Most of my courses have been technical, but I recently found out at work that I will be managing our college interns this summer, so I have transitioned to taking some management courses. Just yesterday I finished a course on critical thinking.

As far as creative hobbies go, Jessica has been doing a bunch of jigsaw puzzles, and I’ve been playing even more guitar than normal. I recently finished recording a new song called ‘Seaside Glide’, which is now available on SoundCloud. Additionally, our garage, pantry, office, and closets have never been cleaner or more organized. I guess what I’m getting at is that even though there are all these new restrictions in place, there is still so much to invest yourself in. Above all else, we certainly don’t take our health for granted. Strangely enough this has been the healthiest cold and flu season ever for us. Last year I started getting serious about taking daily vitamins and supplements, then Jessica and the kids soon followed. Other than a little cold in January for Elise and Enzo, we’ve all been in perfect shape throughout all of this. I’d like to think that regular exercise, combined with all the vitamins and supplements, play a major part in this, but regardless I don’t take it for granted. Times like this really help you keep your priorities in check.

Although our original celebration plans for our anniversary had to be postponed, it’s still important to me that we have a nice day together. I took today off work and look forward to making a special meal this evening. We’re even going to dress up for dinner, even though it will be at home. The menu (for Jessica and I) includes sashimi Ahi tuna with cherry tomatoes, avocado, orange slices, and a rice wine soy vinaigrette, El Gaucho Caesar salad (something I haven’t made in years), then seafood fried rice featuring shrimp, crab, and seared scallops for our entree. I’m taking the easy road for dessert and just getting Ben & Jerry’s for everyone.

Not only am I looking forward to cooking, but I’m also looking forward to simply going to Central Market. We don’t get outings like this very often these days, and that’s not going to change until at least sometime in May, but that’s okay. For now my entire focus is taking care of my family, staying positive, and enjoying each day together. It’s crazy to think that decade number two for us begins today, but considering how amazing the first one was, I’m beyond excited to see what this next one will bring. We have so much to be thankful for, and no external force will ever get in the way of that.

Enjoying one of our hikes in the woods
Ava having fun with scratch & sniff stickers
Elise practicing her guitar from Nana
Enzo with one of his awesome castle creations
Quality time with Mom
Playing hotel at home. This is the front desk of Domino Hotel.
One of our recent neighborhood walks
Baking cookies at home
Getting silly on a recent walk
Concert time at home
Ten years ago today. I love you Jessica!